yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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