I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize