It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize