dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize