I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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