ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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