I cannot find my penis.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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