2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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