This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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