just tell him i said nine months
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
