More tranny stories later!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
