I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
