Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
