I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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