I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
