i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize