i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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