Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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