I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize