VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
