Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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