i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
