I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Ladies don't puke and tell
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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