My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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