woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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