Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
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