I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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