my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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