He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
