It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish my penis had an off switch
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
