I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
