one two three fourrrrnication!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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