Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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