I'm really into asian looking animals
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I intend to get homeless drunk
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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