Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
