oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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