I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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