They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize