my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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