there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
