We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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