Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
