I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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