What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
