i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im six kinds of drunk right now
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize