How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.