Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun

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  (805): I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun http://tfl.nu/vzxf
  Replies (1) Good night (1119) Bad night (834)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.

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  (201): remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal. http://tfl.nu/yu6k
  Replies (5) Good night (1243) Bad night (631)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I can feel you judging me through the phone.

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  (703): I can feel you judging me through the phone. http://tfl.nu/i7dh
  Replies (14) Good night (1376) Bad night (3562)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.

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  (774): i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD. http://tfl.nu/8lo9
  Replies (28) Good night (674) Bad night (5468)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.

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  (334): I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/qbrz
  Replies (10) Good night (688) Bad night (3932)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

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  (250): she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying. http://tfl.nu/nbti
  Replies (19) Good night (1156) Bad night (4130)
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  (213): View more from California

  Her brother is deaf.

  (214): View more from Texas

  no wonder she was so good with her hands

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  (213): Her brother is deaf. (214): no wonder she was so good with her hands http://tfl.nu/zbzq
  Replies (6) Good night (5600) Bad night (1122)
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  (714): View more from California

  Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.

  (1-714): View more from California

  If he was naked that was me.

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  (714): Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed. (1-714): If he was naked that was me. http://tfl.nu/ou2y
  Replies (10) Good night (4916) Bad night (774)
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  (831): View more from California

  Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance

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  (831): Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance http://tfl.nu/d5xa
  Replies (14) Good night (3190) Bad night (715)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing

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  (845): You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing http://tfl.nu/q419
  Replies (3) Good night (1103) Bad night (709)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs

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  (+61): i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs http://tfl.nu/4xpf
  Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (364)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore

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  (386): I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore http://tfl.nu/saed
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (284)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.

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  (330): I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning. http://tfl.nu/se9h
  Replies (6) Good night (869) Bad night (295)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.

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  (989): I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom. http://tfl.nu/avdp
  Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (279)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly

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  (717): It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly http://tfl.nu/9u9t
  Replies (0) Good night (354) Bad night (167)

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