Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

that's Oklahoma for you

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(406): View more from Montana

my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute

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(845): View more from New York

It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone

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(714): View more from California

Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Why didn't I see you last night!?

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.

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(574): View more from Indiana

I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome

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