Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i cant lie to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal? (919): i cant lie to you. http://tfl.nu/vpro
  Replies (56) Good night (817) Bad night (2966)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea. http://tfl.nu/t4nr
  Replies (32) Good night (1010) Bad night (4132)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys http://tfl.nu/7ncb
  Replies (17) Good night (4905) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles? http://tfl.nu/1dpq
  Replies (12) Good night (1506) Bad night (4324)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday. http://tfl.nu/0i2s
  Replies (25) Good night (4514) Bad night (1419)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding. http://tfl.nu/udu2
  Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (1887)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out. http://tfl.nu/58i4
  Replies (3) Good night (2601) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up. http://tfl.nu/eawi
  Replies (7) Good night (3003) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles http://tfl.nu/eek8
  Replies (9) Good night (1603) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT. http://tfl.nu/osv9
  Replies (4) Good night (988) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts?? http://tfl.nu/jz5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1419) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing. http://tfl.nu/cuj5
  Replies (7) Good night (723) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home. http://tfl.nu/ulp5
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever http://tfl.nu/x5gy
  Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices http://tfl.nu/7tdp
  Replies (2) Good night (515) Bad night (221)

Randomize