in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home