Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?