ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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