I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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