We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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