you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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