I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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