Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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