Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
