good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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