Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
